My mother conceived third time and parents didn't want to take any chance this time hence they consulted a priest from a revered shrine from Trichy Gunaseelam temple. He advised parents to take a vow, if son is born, parents will not cut his hair for 12 years. After 12 years they will offer it to Lord Gunaseelam temple. Also, to protect from jealousy and an evil eye. Son has to be grown like a daughter.
My parents took vow and by gods blessings or my parents will power, I was born. A baby boy. Parents were very happy. They followed the vow taken at temple. My ear, nose were pierced. I was grown up as a girl. I was named Priyamvad. But everyone used to call me Priya.
As per the vow, my hair were never cut but they were treated as pious since to be offered to god and well looked after. Mother massaged my scalp with coconut oil everyday.
When I was three year old I realised that other kids hair are trimmed and boys wear shorts then why I wear girls clothes? Why my hair are long and braided? or in pony tail? why I sport a dot? why I wear earrings, bangles? but I couldn't understand. I was very young so couldn't question my parents. I was treated like third daughter. My sisters loved me very much.
I used to go to school with a single braid or twin braids of hair and teachers were given background of the vow. They didn't mind since it was Jr. KG and Sr. KG
When I completed 5 years, they stopped treating me like girl. However my hair were long like girls and everyday before school, mother used to make me sit on the floor and oil them neatly and make braid of hair.
When I joined primary school, 1st standard boys were naughty and they used to pull my long braid and I used to weep as sometimes it was too painful. Mother stopped making braid but she started making a tight bun on nape. Boys used to pull it and open it. My long hair used to hang on my back. They used to tease me as "girl" as there was a confusion. I was in boys uniform but my hair were like girls.
My mother complained to teacher. Teacher advised mother to sport my hair like a Sikh boy. Next day onward she made my hair into braided bun on top of head and wrapped cloth on it.
I have been wearing my hair like a sikh boy upto 7th standard. However at home either they were kept open or in a braid or bun
When I completed 12 years, I was tonsured at the same temple by organizing a big religious ceremony by my parents. My mother and sister weeped a lot while seeing my long beautiful hair being mercilessly shaved by a barber.
I thought, I will be normal since no more female attributes on me anymore. However, after few days I desperately wanted to grow hair again. There was a strong urge for long hair within inside.
I didn't disclose this to parents or sisters. However it was unbearable and I started fantasizing. I didn't cut hair for 6 months and father used to get very angry about my hair.
One of my sister noticed it and she discussed this subject with me. I shared my passion with her. She advised me to take vow at temple again for some cause may be success in studies. So I discussed with parents and since it is religious thing they didn't take any objection.
i started growing hair again and my sister oiled them, groomed them. After 2 years, I started wearing them in a nice single braid. I feel satisfied.
Probably feminine angle in my personality is deeply routed in long hair and sporting long hair, taking care like woman neutralizes it. This could be because of 12 years of sporting long hair like girl and being treated like girl for first 5 years.
I will be looking for a girl who will encourage me to grow long hair and take care of them.
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