You might be thinking why I pitched beautiful instead of handsome in previous paragraph while introducing my husband. Well, this story is meant to expose how my handsome husband became beautiful and beyond.
He is highly educated successful marketing person; I am a graduate house-wife. He made very good savings and we are happily living in our own apartment in Hyderabad. He is bright, caring and gentle person. I love everything in him; he always treats me as a princess. However one thing which made me restless during our early marriage days was that he was too busy with work leaving at 7am to return back after 9pm. I was being lonely, as a pastime learned to stitch blouses. I became expert with my inherent interest and by trying out a few varieties for my fittings. I used to model my work and take suggestions from him. He liked my creativity in stitching and started encouraging me more.
One day while I was complaining about my loneliness when he is out, he suggested I should START A BUSINESS on tailoring. Though I pushed the idea aside, it made more sense to me as I kept thinking about it. I cogitated to begin small by working from home รข€" As I stitch only ladies blouses, it would be pretty safe and keep me engaged during daytime. I worried a bit as none in our families ventured to business in the past. He encouraged me; prepared some fliers for advertising and distributed in the apartment complex.
I thought to myself, I have to present him something unique and special to commence the occasion of my business. During my thinking of what to gift, I recollected the conversation we had on first week of our marriage - He expressed he likes color green and he likes flowers. Relishing that moment I thought to myself, Poor man he cant have both to wear. Playful smile rolled over me. Then an idea stuck me, what if I stitch first blouse which is green making tiny floral embroidery work and present him. He can keep it as a trophy to cherish in our later years thinking of my success in this line of business. I felt this as unique gift that relates to my new business. This way my first artifact from the business goes to him as gratitude towards him, what else could be more apt than this? The more I thought, the more I felt this as appropriate trophy for him.
I got a parrot green blouse bit and did some embroidery with orange and yellow floral designs. Sunday morning, after puja, I surprised him by giving this blouse in a box. My first delivery is for you, hope you like it and will come against. He didnot understand. Once he opened the box and saw a blouse he was shocked, surprised and got nervous. He slowly said he cant wear this alone. Surprised hearing the word ALONE, thinking he might be playing along, I sheepishly inferred to wear with a suitable matching saree then. I never meant for real, just wooed thinking as an intimate joke between couple. I was shocked to see tears in his eyes & got moved by his thank you note while hugging me.
I sensed from his studying of the blouse that he would like to try it. Without thinking much, I picked one of my green silk sarees and told him to wear with his new blouse. He was hesitant, yet I could feel he wanted to wear a saree deep inside his heart. So I took initiative and dressed him with the saree, the blouse filling up the cups. I did his hair to look bit feminine. I complemented him with bangles, ear-rings, anklets, and a necklace. Finally with a red dot on his forehead, he looked more like a girl. He did not look that bad, but it is bit funny to see him as a girl. Even today I remember how he spent 15 minutes adjusting his pallu staring in the mirror forgetting everything else. That's when I realized he is not just handsome but a beautiful man who wants to wear sarees. His sadness showed in a subtle way upon changing to his clothes later that evening. First time I saw in him his vulnerability towards women's clothes.
I did a little role play while he was in saree.
I asked Madam how is the blouse? Are your breasts comfortable in there?
He immediately replied it is great.
Surprised by his answer, I CONTINUED: Madam, with a good bra, it will be even nicer.
He responded in a shaking voice: should try then.
I slowly asked: besides sarees, what other clothing do you like madam?
Without hesitation he blurted out parikini-pavada and gagra-choli.
I was surprised at his answer and asked him madam, when would you like to wear sarees?
Adjusting his pallu, he said with a blush: a feel like wearing all the time.
I felt he is in Trans or under influence, yet I am getting to know this side of him.
I in an investigative manner popped the question: At what age have you started wearing girly clothes?
He dropped his head with no answer. His face turned red like a kid who was caught at candy store. I didn't want to press him further.
As an attempt to ease up I asked would you come to us for getting your blouses stitched?
He shyly nodded his head. I thought to myself he is definitely not in this world.
For two to four months, he wore a saree once a month with that blouse. Thinking he might be little more passable, I surprised him with long braided wig and arranged rows of jasmine flowers. One should see the ecstasy on his face. His love towards me multiplied; he remembered small occasion and started surprising me by bringing new sarees for me. However, he used to get two blouse bits for every saree he purchased. I perceived that he wants one blouse bit stitched for him. I didn't protest for his passion towards me. I used to stitch for him also. Whenever, I wear one of these blouses with a saree, he used to wear same color blouse of his and wear a saree. Slowly he increased his wardrobe with two dozen blouses of his own and became good at wearing sarees. He started spending more time with me during weekdays as well which I liked most. For that I didn't mind him being in sarees.
He became confident and comfortable in a saree as any other traditional woman would. I admire how he flows in his saree in style and elegance. Though initially I used to think this is odd for a man to dress and act as a woman and plan to stop him from doing so, I couldn't really see the unhappiness in him (though he immediately would oblige me by purging women's clothes).
With time, I got used to seeing him in sarees. Now I even ask him to wear a saree while we are home. I don't know why I ask him but I guess that's how I love my beautiful husband.
We tried to find reasons why he wants to dress as a woman; we read a lot of material on internet; he did a deep soul search. Nothing could find us a reason. Probably it's the same as me not knowing why I would like to see my husband in a saree though I never gave thought of men dressing like women earlier in my life. Perhaps it's the same as why I can't answer why I adore him though he wears more bangles than me.
I at times think perhaps this nature of him brought good qualities in him like being sensitive, gentle, helpful and passionate. I love my saree wearing husband for these good qualities and of-course his justification in impersonation of a good homely woman whenever he is in saree.
Yet, reality hits me sometimes I keep worrying on what if our child knows of it; what if others find out; what if he wants to experience womanhood outside the house; what if he becomes more beautiful than me with age. We share a cry when these thoughts flow, wishing that society could have been more acceptable to the traits that my Kumar adopted.
My final thoughts, seeing my husband's saga for 5 years - I think society should be friendlier for saree wearing men. I personally wish every man be encouraged to wear sarees. This brings men to understand women better. Perhaps men would experience and express all the cool things that we women do and feel. My beautiful husband Kumar surely changed my perspective towards this demeanor, now I am more proud that he is man enough to express as a woman.
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