Chapter 1: The beginning
October 3, 1984. This is the day I was born. I belong to very poor family. My father is carpenter and my mother used to work in houses. My mother died after giving birth to me. I had one sister who is 2 year elder than me. After three years my father married again. My step mom is very rude with us(My sister and me). This is what my sister told to me when I was 6 years old. From the time I remember, my sister used to work hard in our home and neighbours home for monthly wages, even then my step mom used to beats her daily. Some times I also become the victim for some or the other reason.
One day, when I was 8 years old, I came to home from the school. I saw a police man sitting in the front room and my entire family sitting in front of him (My father, step mom, sister and Rohit). Rohit is the son of my step mom who is 2 years old, and he is playing with his toys. By listing at the police man words I can understand like, somebody from our neighbors complained on my parents on not treating my sister well. He warned my father that if next time they beat my sister he will be punished harshly. After some time he left the home, and my father and mother are very serious on my sister.
Next couple of months it was like peaceful environment in my home. Police man visits our home regularly and looks at our sister. After some months he reduced the frequency of visiting our home, and it become routine again at home. One day evening my step mom hit my sister with some piece of rod in some angry situation, and my sister collapsed suddenly by bleeding from the forehead. My step mom taken her inside the home and applied the first aid. But it was not useful; she died in front of my eyes. I started shouting and crying, she put her hands on my mouth and tied to one pole and tied my mouth with some cloth. My father returned home after his daily routines (drinking and playing cards in a club). My parents decided to hide this and dig pit at the back of our home and put my sister body there. That time I realized how much my father loves us. He not even dropped tears from his eyes on my sister death. Next day is Sunday and it is holiday for school and police man supposed to visit on alternate Sunday. If he came to know about this, my parent would surely go to jail. The whole night I was tied to pole in the same position. As expected police man came to home early morning, and my parents told him that my sister went to some relative’s town and she will be back in next week. Somehow they escaped this time, but in long run they cant.
Chapter 2: First time experience
As my sister is dead now, my parents are thinking how they can escape from the police. I was moaning in the corner of the room tied to a poll. My step mom got a idea in her mind and she whispered something in my dad's ear. He told, "Lets try that". I don't know what they are going to do now. My step mom went inside and bought some my sister cloths and untied me from the poll and put my sisters cloths on me, i am crying and rejecting that, but my energy isvery less so i can't oppose them, The dress was yellow chudidhar, it perfectly fits me as my sister and me looks like twins and our body shape and facial characteristics match mostly. Now i got their idea, they are planning to show me as my sister to that police man. After dressing up and some makeup(kajal and bindhi) i look similar to my girl and my father said, " You are going to live as girl every Sunday. If you don't agree, we will kill you also". I don't have any other choice and kept quite.
From that day onwards i was dressing in my sister cloths for entire day as girl. I had to work all household work daily as my sister is no more.
By the time i reached 15 years, i realized this is very wrong and started opposing to my step mom. My father was fell ill and he counting his days because of his drinking habits. My step mom thought that, i am very hard to control, so she called her brother to keep me under their control and do whatever they asked me to do
. Chapter 3: Punishment
As i become 15 years, i am opposing to my step mom and her brother and started threatening them saying i will inform about my sister incident to police. This is the time unexpected thing happened in my life which changed my life completely. In summer holidays, One day early morning my step mom and her brother tied me on my bed and put some cloths in my mouth. When i opened my eyes it is completely dark, they covered my face with some cloth. They tied my legs apart and removed my bottom cloths. I observed some hands on my private parts. Suddenly there is immense pain at my balls and keep on increasing. They gave some injection to me and fell asleep. After few hours i opened my eyes. I looked down at my Private parts, there are lot of cloths with stains of blood. I am very afraid and i tried to stand up and escape. But there is no luck as they tied me very strongly to my bed. Couple days later they untied me and then i looked at myself. My balls are completely removed and they stitched the skin after removing my balls. At that age i am not aware of usage of the male balls. Bcoz of this punishment i am unable to grow any body hair and failed to get muscular body, and failed to get male voice. But my voice is in between, i can mimic male voice without any trouble though its sounds not perfect.
After summer holidays, i joined school again and continued to study my 10Th class. In home, i has to follow my step mom's orders. Otherwise they will cut my penis also as they did to my testicles.
Chapter 4: School Exam
Times has passed like this and one day when i was preparing for my exam, i came to know from the conversation of my step mom and her brother that all my mothers property is in the name of my sister and myself. So for some time they used look friendly with me. They thought i didn't about this property issue. One day they asked me to sign the paper as my sister, so that they can get entire property. I don't have any choice other than accepting to them. Registration date is fixed, that is soon after my results are announced. I spent summer very happy after writing my 10Th class exams.
Chapter 5: Summer
I woke up early in the morning, did the routine work in the house, and went outside to check my results. I went to my school; some students are already gathered there. Good news I got in to the first class with distinction marks. After taking the marks sheet in my hand, I walked towards my house. Suddenly I questioned myself, why I am going to house? Is there anything I have to do there? Nothing!!!
The only thing I belong in my house is one pair of old cloths. So I decided to run from house and join any good college with hostel facility.
Immediately I went to bus stop and catch the bus to the nearest town. As I did’t have the money with me, I had to get down in the middle.
After that I walked for couples of hours to reach the town. I know that my parents and their guys would started searching for me, and the first place they can think of is this town, so I need to be very careful in this town and I should not got to the places like bus stop and railway station.
I spent 2 days in the town by working at some hotel. With in next two weeks colleges are going to start, I used to check the news paper daily about the colleges. I found some colleges in other town which is very far from here. I saved some rupees with in these couple weeks. I took the hotels van and went to other nearest town, which daily used to get some rice, wheat and vegetable etc from that town. I took the train from there and went to town for joining in the college.
Chapter 6: Joining College
I sat in the canteen and thinking about my accommodation. There was a guy sitting behind me with his aunt and uncle. It seems, they are giving some suggestions to him and he is not accepting. I listened to their conversation and understood that, they wanted him to join hostel but he is willing to stay in rented house. His uncle is saying that it is very difficult to stay alone in a single flat. By looking at them anybody can easily make out that they are very rich people. His uncle observed that I am listening to their conversation and he asked me that where I am going to stay. I told that I am not capable of paying hostel fee or room rent. His aunt suggested me that I can stay with him. With hesitation I said, ‘I can’t pay half of the rent’. They said ‘No need to pay any rent, just be friendly with Kiran’.
I agreed immediately with out any other words. Kiran introduced himself to me, he is 3 years older than me. He did some fashion design course for two years after 10th. He is now looking to complete the Intermediate and degree. He looks very heavy and looks aged than his original age.
In evening of the same day, we found a very good independent house near to college.
We bought some required house hold items that night and his aunt and uncle left to their native place. That night I slept very peacefully after a long time. After two days our classes started. Kiran bought a bike; we used to go to college together on the bike. Days were going fine till our half yearly exams.
Chapter 8: Kiran realization
Time was going smooth until that day when kiran realized that something wrong with gender. It was intial days in the college, our seniors used do ragging. As part of ragging, one senior came to know that me and kiran are room-mates. He asked both us "Whose penis is large among you two?". We were silenced for a moment. Then he asked us to go and measure among us and tell him whose penis is bigger. But the condition he kept is one should measure the others penis. So we went to one corner and slowly unzipped our pants. First it was my turn, kiran looked at my Penis and he shocked to see my private part, i didn't know why he was shocked at that time. After my turn he unzipped his pant, his penis is much much bigger than my thing, and that is the first time i am seeing a penis other than my thing. We wore the pants and went to senior and reported that kiran penis is much bigger than my penis and after some time we came to room.
Kiran is in confusion state, he didn't speak a single word after that incident. After reaching home and eating some snacks
Kiran : What happened to your
testicles? Why they are not there?
Me: (If i tell the truth, then there is a
risk that he will inform about me to my step mom and his brother. So i decided
to tell a lie to him) In child wood i got a accident and doctor
removed those things in a operation. Anyhow no use with those balls.Right?
Kiran: No, if you don't have balls
then you are not a man.
Me: Who said? I have penis, so i am a man
Kiran: No, you can't fuck a girl.
Me: Fuck. Hmm..( I didn't
know what exactly that at that time). I can fuck a girl. I have penis
Kiran: To fuck a girl, u need to be a
man, and your penis should stand tight and up.
After this he removed his pants, and showed a tightend penis. I surprised to see his penis. This is much bigger than what i saw few hours back. I didn't believed on kiran words and i ran away from that place to other room. Then he came near me and explained everything to me regarding lack of body hair on me, my female voice, sensitive body and female structure all because lack of testicles. I then realized how much big punishment i got from my step mom for not obeying to her.
Chapter 9: Agreement
At the night he came to me and removed his pant infront of me. I was sitting on the floor. He came near to me. His underwear is very near to my face. Slowly he removed the underwear, i was so afraid and i closed my eyes. After some time something touched my cheeks, it felts like smooth and spongy. I opened my eyes and looked at that thing which touched my cheeks. It was kiran's hard 7 inch penis. I shouted immediately by opening my mouth after looking that. He immediately kept his penis in my opened mouth and told, "You agreed to do one thing which i will tell. Now suck my penis as you sucked lollipop y'day until juice comes out of that". I didn't understand what juice means( I didn't know about the sperms at that time). Without any other choice, i started sucking his penis by imagining as lollipop. He was moaning by closing his eyes, after couple of minutes, i felt some liquid in my mouth. It is very hard, thick and tastes something different. At first moment i thought he is pissing in my mouth. After that he released me, till that time he was holding my head with his both hands. I vomited those liquid one floor. It was white in color, i am surprised to see the white fluid from penis. I asked kiran what is the white liquid, what is wrong with you. He explained everything about the sperms. I was again in confusion state whether to believe him or not. But he looks right. Now i understood, "I AM NOT A MAN".
From that day onwards we used to participate in this frequently. Sometimes while studying books, i used to masturbate him with my hand. This is the agreement between us, I have to do whatever he tells me to do. And he will help me on all my financial needs.Chapter 11: Shopping
One Sunday we are watching TV in the afternoon. In news, there was a 30 minutes program on cross dressing and they were showing men who wear women cloths and living as women etc. Kiran looked at me and gave a cruel smile at me. I asked, "What happened? Why you are smiling like that?". Then he pointed to the TV with his eyes. I watched the TV and i suspected that kiran wants to try those stuff on me too. By keeping innocent face I asked, " What is this? ". Then he told "I wanted to look you like them". I said, "NO. You can't do that". Kiran, " I can do that honey. Otherwise i wont give you the exam fee which you require to pay tomorrow".
In that evening he we went to shopping. This is most embarrassing shopping in my life. First we went to cloths shop and asked for ladies dresses. For a second, he looked at both of us, but he pointed upstairs and said, "You will get ladies wear on 2nd floor". We took the lift and went to second floor. I was begging kiran not to continue shopping. But he totally decided that he will see me as a complete girl. On the second floor, there are lot of women who are shopping. Even shopkeepers also all women. My heart is beating with double speed to ask for a dress. Then kiran asked to one of the shopkeepers by pointing at me, "We need a dress for hee..........iis(his) sister". The word long 'HIS' took my breath away and for one moment shopkeeper and I was looking at each other with total surprise on our faces. Then shopkeeper said, "Oh! For his sister. You guys can take semi stitched dresses so that she can stitch according to her size". That idea was good, whoever comes with an idea of semi stitched, hats-off to him. Otherwise kiran would have tried all the dresses on me infront of all the people. We took 4 semi stitched dresses of various types. These are all kiran selection. After all he did a 2 year course on fashion designing after 10th class.
After that kiran took me to a big mall, i didn't know what we are going to buy here. We directly went to ladies section. Kiran took one basket and handed me that. First he selected some ladies T-Shirts and kept in the basket. Thank God! There are more public and less shop keepers, so no shop keeper offered help. We went to underwear section, he asked me to grab thhe size 32 bra panty set. As i was looking for the size, one shopkeeper girl came to me and asked for her assistance.
Girl: "Excuse me. May i help you".
I turned around and found that kiran was not there, he was 15-20 feet away and he is looking at some male cloths. I turned towards that girl
Me : "Hmm......32 size....".
Girl: "What color sir!"
Me : ( Kiran didn't told me about color). "Hmm......"
Girl: "We have a offer sir! If you take 3 there is a 50% off on MRP"
Me: (Who cares offers now!!)"OK...."
Girl: "So what colors do you want. By the way for whom you are
taking these"
Me: (Myself!! What...) For my sister (I
should have said my girl friend or my wife..)
Girl: "What colors ?"
Me: (Why the hell colors!!) Keep it Black, white and Red
She handed me those 3 pairs to me and left there to handle other customer. I came to kiran and started shouting at him, he was laughing at me. As we are heading towards billing counter, kiran observed nighties section. He dragged me there and showed me couple of nighties from distance and asked me to collect it from there. I said, "I am not going to do this anymore, I am leaving". He hold my hand and told, " Don't you want to write exams". Seriously i went there and collected those nighties and went to billing counter. Kiran gave some money and asked me to stand in the billing counter and pay the bill, and he left from there. While the billing was going on everybody in the queue was looking at my face. There are ladies T-Shirt, nighties and bra panties. Surprisingly there are nail polish and lipstick and other stuff in the basket. I know kiran already selected these at the time when i was talking with shop keeper girl. I paid the bill and left that place without looking at anybody there. Kiran welcomed with cruel smile in his face. He has one big box in his hand. I asked, "What is that?". He told with smile, "You will come to know tomorrow. Lets go home now". I went to home with him with lot of embarrassment. Chapter 12: First time Outing
After coming from shopping i took a bath and went to my wardrobe and surprisingly it is locked. I asked kiran, "Who locked this?". He told he locked it and now onwards i am going to wear whatever he wants me to wear. He gave me the new pink nighty which we bought while shopping. Without any choice I wear the nighty. It was a satin cloth and it felt very smooth and flexible on my body. I went to kitchen and prepared dinner for us. I went to bed in the same night after the Dinner.
The next morning i woke up early and went to bathroom to take a bath. Kiran knocked the door and asked to open the door. I refused to open the door. He threaten me by saying he will break the door and come into bathroom. So i open the door. He has a razor in his hand. He shaved all my body hair. After the bath he gave some women moisturizer to apply on my body. I literally following all his order as i don't have any other option. He gave one pink color dress to me which we bought y'day. He stitched that dress in night according to my measurements. As i was about to wear that dress he stopped me and gave me black color bra and panty to wear. I first took the panty and wear it, it is very silky and it feels good while wearing on my smooth hairless legs. Then kiran helped me in wearing bra and he filled the bra cups with some cotton cloths. I took the bottom which is patiala and no difficulties in wearing that. But top is little tight for my structure. Kiran shaped my eyebrows a little. He handed me a box which he got it in shopping. Immediately i opened that, it is full of cosmetics, it contains all colors of nail polish, and lipsticks and other makeup kits. Kiran asked me to sit on a chair, and he experimented his makeup skills on my face. He put the mascara and kajal and lipstick. He put the wig on my head and asked me to open the eyes.
I was surprised to see his skills. I was looking like a real girl. Then he gave me a pair of pink high heels and asked me get into that. Then he went to main door and opened it. I shouted not to open the main door bcoz other will notice me. But he has other ideas. He came near me and hold my hand and said, "Honey we are going out for a movie and then lunch". I started to sweating on my face after came to know that i am going out as a female. Kiran gave some tissue paper and showed how to clean the sweat without disturbing the makeup.
I covered my face with dupatta and went outside and sat in the bike. Kiran asked me to sit as women sits. I did that. We went to movie and then to lunch. Nobody noticed me as a guy. Then i realized kiran is very good at makeup. While coming back to our room we struck in traffic and there was a huge rain. I totally become went. As my new dress is very thin, people are able to see through my black bra and panty. I am very embarrassed with that moment. I can see people starring at my back and commenting with their friends. But i can't do anything except keeping quite. After coming to home i changed myself into black silk nighty and went to bed.
We used to go out on every sunday, and i got habituated to live as a girl even outside also.
Chapter 13: Exam Days
First year exam dates are published, we got one day gap between two exams. I was very busy in preparing for the exams. Regularly kiran asking me to agree regarding my sex change, and I am strongly saying NO. He got frustrated and threatened me that he will make a situation to live as a girl. I am very much feared about his words, I am not getting what he meant.
Before the first exam
There were two practical exams left, physics and chemistry. He did my eyebrows. I managed the practical by wearing goggles.
One day before last exam, chemistry practical, when I woke up, I found my self tied to chair and Kiran standing in front of me with a piercing gun in his hand.
He said, if you move any your hands or legs I will pierce your nose and put a ring with a lock. I looked down at my body, I was naked and there was a mehndhi applied on my hands and legs with very big bridal design. Tears dropped from eyes immediately. He said, ‘I am asking you for final time, will you agree to change your sex? If you say no, I will make the situation more badly’.
I don’t have any other chance other than accepting. I said, ‘OK. I will agree. But let me complete by graduation. After that I will do whatever u wanted me to do’. My plan was to postpone this as far as possible, so that I can escape from him if I got any chance.
He untied me from the chair and asked me to take a bath. I entered bathroom and washed my hands and legs. It is too late. Mehndhi showed its results. I was very nervous; I need something to hide my hands. Legs I can hide by wearing shoes. Mehndhi on my hands is till forearms, so i am very much afraid of that and asked kiran's help for going to collage and completing my chemistry practical. I wore on of his full sleeves shirt and one trouser and put my hands in pockets and reached the college on time for exam. Kiran went inside and bought one pair of gloves which student will wear for practical to avoid any acid interaction, i went inside toilet and wore those gloves and completed the practical exam. After the exam lab instructor asked me to remove the gloves and return that to him. My heart is beating with double speed, i looked at kiran with the fearful face. Suddenly kiran asked the lab instructor one question and he involved the instructor in that discussion. I slowly went to corner and removed the gloves and put my hands in pocket and came back to our room.
Chapter 13: Holiday trip
Mehndhi on my hands and legs will be there for minimum 15 days, and i can't go out having that on me. After reaching home, kiran came on his bike with some shopping covers in his hand and he said
Kiran: "Common
honey!! Lets pack
up and enjoy the holidays in ooty!!!"
Me: How can I go with this mehandhi on my hands
Kiran: Honey, Mehndhi is the
symbol of newly married women
Me: What!! I am not women
Kiran: But you will be one
for the next 15 days in our honeymoon trip
Me: No....you can't do this to
me, i told after my graduation only i will listen to you
Kiran: I am not
asking for SRS honey, these 15 days are only trail version of your womanhood
"Take
this covers and wear all these stuff now, and pack all your ladies stuff and get
ready by evening 5PM. If you are not ready then you know what i Will do", he told by
taking the piercing gun in his hand with nose ring.
I was thinking till 3PM for any alternatives to escape, but there is no escape from room as he locked from outside. If i shout, then everybody will come to know about me and kiran and i know kiran somehow escape and he will see my end, there is no doubt about that. So i decided to follow his instructions. I opened the cover which he bought today, there is a red saree with huge thread and stones work and matching blouse and petticoat and bra & panty pair. I kept all those things on the cot and went for quick bath. I removed all my cloths, i looked at myself in the mirror, hands and legs are no less than newly married women, i applied hair removal cream on my hands and legs and removed the very less hair which i has. I draped a towel around me and came to bedroom, and i took panty and bra and put it on my body. Kiran knows my size well and this time there are silky pair feels good on my skin. I quickly wore the petticoat and blouse followed by saree. By the time i complete with saree kiran came with another cover in his hand and take newly married women bangles set from that packer and handed over to me. Without any choice i wore all of those bangles in my hands. He gave one bright red color nail paint to me and asked me to apply on all my 20 nails. I applied paint on my hand nails, kiran help me in applying the toe nails. He then removed from his packet a pair of heavy silver anklets which has more bells and put it on my feet and then he put two pair of toe rings on my toe fingers. He asked me to sit infront of mirror. Now i am literally following to hos words. He shaped my eyebrows and applied mascara and light shade of kajal in my eyes and he took wine color lipstick from drawer and applied on my lips after making the lipline with matching lipliner. Finally he put on some matching fake jewelry and a 5-inch heels. Hees are nor new to me but definitely 5 inch one is new. We took auto and reached station to catch the train to Coimbattore and then to ooty.
Till now i can remember this trip, Nobody notices me as a male. Infact some middle aged womens in the train gave me a compliment that i am most beautiful bride they ever seen
We enjoyed the 15 days trip, i was completely women for 15 days. I think i started to love as women at this time.
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